Something you need....

to know if you have chosen to come alongside of a grieving friend.

Read carefully. I am only going to give you six words but they are key words.

Say it aloud if it will help you understand the principle of these six words.

Read it and say it more than once if you are in anyway confused after the first reading.

Ready?

It is NOT all about you.

Did you get that? Another person's grief is not to be lived through the lens of your comfort zones, your safe places, your preferred talking points or your penchant for finding the silver lining in every dark cloud. Your friend is not out to offend your sensibilities or sensitivities about anything. She is not purposely ignoring what is going on in your life to hurt your feelings. She is as blind to the extraneous as she is trying to take her next breath without ripping in half because of the sob that grows within.

It is always your choice to either come alongside or move aside so someone can treat her with the compassion and patience that she needs. Your job is not to fix her. She's not broken. She's grieving. And grieving is a natural state of this world. In heaven we will not grieve.

But we ain't there yet, people.

Granted, the job of coming alongside is not for the faint of heart. But friendship usually isn't for the faint of heart. Or at least friendship that has roots. So. put on your big girl panties and remember that it is NOT all about you.

It is NOT all about her either. But that realization comes through the process of grieving and is the tender work of the Lord. Let Him do what He does most excellently. He wipes every tear away. He brings joy in the morning. He reveals beauty in the ashes.

And if you have been patient for His work to occur and humble for your place beside her, then together you will see how perfectly it was ALL about Him.