Friday, March 26, 2010

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I have a bodily fluids...

post! Why the excitement? Well, with my guys at almost 13, 12 and almost 9, the days of major bodily fluid expression is mostly past. I certainly have my depository of stories that involved days of round the clock laundry, quarantines, happy meal boxes used in a pinch to hold vomitus eruptus. Or my favorite was certainly the night that the boy in the top bunk bed threw up while coming down the ladder and managed to soak the boy in the bottom bunk. Plus a solid 2 foot diameter circle of the surrounding floor area.

Yes. That was a night for the history books.

Yesterday and today though I got to keep friend's two little guys, ages 3 and 15 months. It was something else to run errands with 5 in tow. The mantourage was cute from top to bottom. I do believe my chest was a bit puffier. And not from water retention. They all behaved beautifully and I haven't had such sympathy looks since that famous trip to the grocery store with one in sling and two tied to the cart, all screaming their heads off. Including me.

While yesterday was mostly tame, I did get to have the poopy underwear event after nap. Today was a reminder that while 40, I may still have it in me to deal with the dudes and their bodily fluids.

Full disclosure, I only had the 3 year old today. The day has been swimmingly great. Homeschool coop, pie baking class, lunch, chatting with friends, home again and naps. Me too. After nap provided the excitement.

Caleb got up to play outside with the big boys. He said he was a little thirsty so we were headed downstairs for a cup of water. We walked all the way down the carpeted hallway, down the carpeted part of the stairs, and bingo, right there at the wood stairs, he let it fly, watched it toss, hit the fan, spewed the mood. He hit 5 out of the 7 stairs.

Majestic! I would have given Mimi's eyeteeth for a picture of my older two sons' faces. Shock and awe! Yee haw! I lifted him to the bottom and ushered him into the hall bath, threw the lid open and bullseye! he hit the swirly with a doozy. One hand holding him in front of the bowl, the other hand grabbing for and wiping his cherub cheeks with the hand towel. There was no spillage of the spewage. Awesome.

I ordered the older two to grab bath towels and start scooping and wiping the stairs. Sweet payback right there, folks. It was all over in a matter of minutes. Wiped everything down with 409 and everyone was outside playing within 15 minutes. Who cares if he throws up outside? We have a hose.

My point not being only bragadocious but to encourage you young moms in the trenches with the unending of bodily fluids. It does reach an end. Only God and the life He gives is eternal. You will amass skills you never knew you had. You'll earn the badges, eat the chocolates and wear the crown. Hoo rah.

I'm proud of you, friends. And one day, you'll be having your olders clean up the youngers' spew and you'll think back on the good old days.

And be thankful they are gone. Smooches! Non-contagious ones.


  1. EW! Gross!! I can't imagine the horror of being awakened to someone puking all over me!

  2. Sitting in drs office (for me, strangely) laughing and crying. I owe u a hug for this, my friend. Because have I mentioned that Willa's poop turned WHITE? That was a fun google party, let me tell ya. I think she's fine, but I don't want to study a diaper and it's contents for a very long time. Or never again, that would be nice....

  3. Oh my! Tears of laughter here as well. So thankful for your eternal perspective and sense of humor. True friend indeed. Your future men inspire me too. Love ya gal!