on my life to be a Bible teacher.
Challenging and rewarding all together, the work keeps me on my knees and ever mindful of redemption's essential gifts. I fought against taking this call because I feared the personal costs, feared being a target, and feared the work itself. I knew that God asks much of His servants. That He willingly uses affliction in refinement, sacrifice in sanctification. I had already buried one son, I did not want to lose any other thing.
Husband was crystal in his own charge while I argued with him over God's purpose.
"You do not want me to say yes because you fear what God will do in our lives. I fear what God will do in our lives if you do not say yes to what is clearly in His will for our lives. The safest place I can put you is in the center of His will. No matter what happens."
So the work began and continues. Days of being lifted to heights I can not express, of knowing my own face to shine from His presence, and of my own heart burning within me as His Spirit instructs. Days of being so burdened with the needs of others, the consequences of sin and the griefs of disobedience that I beg for release.
To His sanctuary I run, knowing that His promises are realized when tightly embraced. Carpet fibers intertwined with nose hairs are one way of realization. Hard obedience is another.
I can look at Husband now and say, "I was right. The costs have been many. Desertion of friends, misunderstanding of family, and the world does not choose me. And you were right, the safest place is still the center of His will."
I am grateful for God's call and for His perseverance in me, a most imperfect teacher, an unworthy woman, a sinner saved by His grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone.
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