Sunday, May 17, 2009

Frantic squirrel on a screened in porch...

makes for a lively show. Both for me and the long-haired cat who was equally frantic to get out there and do something I guess. I didn't need that excitement today so I didn't try that part of the show.

Last week Husband bought a 50 lb. bag of sunflower seeds for our bird feeders. We're all avid bird watchers. I like to trace the roots back to when Husband and I were dating. He had an 8:00 ornithology class that occasionally he was, um, sleepy during because of late night courtship of moi. My first class wasn't until 10:00 so I would meet him for breakfast and watch him yawn.

That's romance, right there.

Anyway, some years ago he invested in a couple of nice bird feeders for me, placing them right outside of my kitchen windows so I could see the variety of feathered friends through the day of meal preparation. The war with the squirrels began around the same time. We all know how to launch into Squirrel Removal Mode when necessary. Which takes its various lethal and non-lethal forms, based upon who is in the house at the time.

This 50 lb. bag of sunflower seed has become Ft. Knox to the squirrels and their tactics for procurement have really been upped. One or two of the little buggers actually gnawed a hole through the screen to get to the bag. Of course, once they made it onto the porch, the furry beast freaked out and momentarily forgot his prime directive.

Instead of going after the sunflower seeds, this creature began hurling himself around the porch against the screens, scaling the grill, turning over various porch items, and making a general mess. Blue, the long-haired cat, was racing around in the kitchen from window to door, pawing, whining, and making his own general ruckus inside the house.

Armed with a cereal box, in case the squirrel tried to make a frontal assault, I crept out the door to prop open the screen door. And then proceeded to watch the squirrel still not be able to make it out the door for another 10 minutes.

This same action repeated itself an hour later with the second hapless hunter of seeds. This time Husband was home, and he chose a more direct method of elimination. To which the squirrel flung himself through another part of the screen over the stairs, landed a full two stories below and scampered, with a limp, into the woods.

Now we have two squirrel sized holes in the screens on the porch, and the 50 lb. bag of sunflower seeds is in my kitchen.

It is so on, squirrels.


  1. Let's see, our bag of sunflower seeds were placed into a plastic locking trash can to keep out the moisture and critters. The squirrels ate a hole through the plastic. For our next attempt, the seed went into a metal trash can with a tight fitting lid. The squirrels removed the lid. Next we used a bungee cord to tie down the lid. The squirrels ate through the bungee cord and removed the lid. Hence the reason why our sunflower seeds are kept in a metal trash can which has it's lid chained in place. It looks rather like we're afraid someone is going to steal our trash. Of course this all came about after the squirrels ate a hole in the wooden garage door to reach the seed inside the garage. So, in my opinon the screen was really no hinderance at all.

    We've also had squirrels eat belts in the engine of the car and eat the tubing from the propane gas tank to the grill.

    Good luck with your battle with the critters. Let me know how that works out for you.

  2. Oh, one last comment, I have a good recipe for Brunswick Stew which calls for squirrel.

  3. Oh what an adventure. My daughter once mistakenly let a duck into the house. The duck freaked out and oh my what a mess he made before he finally made his way out the door!

  4. This is CRACKING me up!

    Do you know what FirstHusband did Friday afternoon? Vacuumed lots and Lots and LOTS of sunflower shells from our screened porch.

    On Saturday afternoon, he replaced screen panels. Panels which had been chewed to allow squirrel access (or rats, but I'm sticking with squirrels).

    Sunday afternoon, he poured the remains of our 50 pound bag of sunflower seed into a sealed, stackable bin and a 50 pound bag of mixed seed into another.

    We need one more stackable bin for cracked corn, which is less than half the price of the sunflower seed. When we put corn out for the squirrels (AWAY from the house) the squirrels - and the raccoons - leave the bird feeders alone and the deer leave my roses alone.

    We have two cats who think they are "all that" but they would run like the chickens they really are if they ever really found themselves face to face with a squirrel.