Thankful for children...

that God knew I needed. They are my polishing stones.

My firstborn taught me what it was to be a mother. To, as the saying goes, have your heart live outside your body. I breathed in as much of his life as he was given. I knew my heart outside my body to be shattered when he died.

My second born was not born from my body. He taught me how to be a mother of flesh to a child not my flesh. He was all gift and challenge, bundled in the tiniest 2 lbs. 6 oz. His life and my heart raced like two lead horses fighting for the title of More Fragile in the restoration of hope. He is teaching me to be a mother in the milestones.

My third born also not born from my body was born of my will. Raising a open hand to heaven, I trusted beyond myself to receive a child named "Gift of God". He came packaged in chaos and contradiction and continuance. His former memories bear scars, his present life is sealed by redemption's work. He is teaching me to be a mother in the memories.

My fourth born came inexplicably from a body thought to be done with birthing babies. He came as a testament of God's promise to give more than asked or imagined. He is a period and exclamation point and question mark all tangled together in expressible joy. He is teaching me to be a mother in the moments.

I am grateful for my children and God's purpose in giving them to me.

Join us at Rebecca Writes for a Month of Thankfulness.