James, part VIII...

Before Husband and I knew it, we were at the door of 40 weeks and ready for the baby to come. I had been reading a book given to me by a friend that issued from a "word of faith" perspective. Simply put, I was tasked by this book to copy down and then memorize a whole host of Bible verses regarding God's promises and childbirth.

I was more than diligent in that tasking. I can follow a list. Here's the upside: I learned a lot of Scripture, and put the words into my mind. Here's the downside: I treated the Scripture as nothing more than mantra. If I said it enough times and mustered up enough emotion behind the saying, then I believed, in no small degree, that I could compel God to perform.

I was awash in error. It would be almost three years before I realized my error. Here's what Scripture really says about what I was doing.

Mt 6:7, "But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." (KJV)

"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." (NIV)

The first error was my babbling. My second error was my dependence upon emotion. Instead of understanding that God's Word was fact and foundation to place my trust upon, I wanted to "feel" it.

Here's an example of my folly. I had been praying and babbling this verse, "The midwives answered Pharaoh, 'Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive.'” Ex. 1:19 (NIV)

I had construed this verse to mean that I would not be overdue. I was having a big baby after all, and I did not want to go past my due date which was April 5th. I don't remember how I arrived at the date of April 2nd, but it is what I picked for the day the baby was to be born.  The night of April 1st I got ready to the nth degree, even to the point of curling my hair so that I would look good while in labor. I laid down for the night, ready to wake Husband at any moment because my water was sure to break.

I did wake Husband that night because I was timing my contractions (the same ones I had been having for a week) to the milisecond, and I was convinced that birth was imminent.  We drove to the hospital only to be chuckled at and sent home.