It is a woman's...

prerogative to change her mind. Hallelujah! Of course, usually when the comment is made, it's said with wry tone by a husband who's waiting through the sixth outfit change of his wife. Goodness knows, I fall among the ranks of women who exercise the prerogative at times, and always in regard to where the furniture should go.

However, changing my mind as a Biblical principle has really been on my mind in studying Matthew, chapter 3. The scene is set in John the Baptist vividly proclaiming the message of "Repent, because the kingdom of heaven is near." And no matter how strangely John is dressed, or the different nature of his ascetic diet, the message he preaches of repentance is one I've not only wrestled with this week but also desire the more regular application of in my life.

Repentance is a change of mind that is evidenced by a change of conduct. One commentator defined repentance as being sorry enough about something to actually do something about it. The fact that the change of mind evidenced by a change of action is an inseparable element. To only be sorry for something but have no change in behavior is really just sorry dust and ashes.

Look what 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 says:

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

Another way I've been taught to consider it is this: Repentance is hating what God hates and loving what God loves. Hating what God hates stirs you up to turn away from, to flee from, to abandon all that He hates. Loving what God loves stirs you up to turn to, to run towards, to pursue at all cost only that which He loves.

That concept is embodied in John's message. The "repent" part is turning away from sin and unbiblical thinking (that which God hates) whereas the "kingdom of heaven is near" part is the turning to righteousness and biblical thinking (that which God loves). John taught the message in tandem because both parts are necessary.

I have said before that I have repented of impatience. But my falsehood is quickly seen in my frustration level for when things, children, husband, life doesn't happen within my timetable. True, I'm really sorry for blowing my top and being impatient. I do not like the anxiety and stress that accompany the sin of impatience. But being sorry all day long for snapping impatiently, hurrying everyone along, and arguing with my loved ones doesn't evidence one iota of true repentance for my impatience. It's probably more truthful to say I'm sorry that my impatience causes me additional trouble.

Working through this thought I realized that my test is found not in just how sorry I am or even in how much I detest my impatient behavior. My test is found in whether I've chosen to love God's timing MORE than my own. For until I DO love His timing, His providence and His will more, I'm not truly repentant.

That's really tough to swallow because I know it to be true. So while the week began with me despairing of ever being truly repentant, it's the end of chapter 3 that reawakened the best and truest hope I have.

I'll blog about that later.