My best friend...

in high school was a guy I'll call "Carl".  He was tall, good-looking, smart, funny as all get-out, wore great clothes and drove a Honda Prelude--which was for the 80's, my all time favorite car.  We were the bosomest of buddies, true peas and carrots to all sorts of adventures.  We leapt from trouble to tragedy to triumph like fleas on a dog.  I could tell Carl anything, and I'm sure I practically did.

Carl took me to my junior prom where we had a terrific time, but Carl and I were never romantic with one another.  I dated other guys, and he dated other girls.  Carl was simply my best friend.  The different colleges that we chose put a real crimp in our times together but we still managed to stay in touch through phone calls and visits.

When I met my husband, one of the first things I had to do was bring him home to meet Carl.  His input meant that much to me, and I was thrilled that he was able to leave his big city banking job to be at our wedding.  Right after our honeymoon, I began married life in Korea and lost touch with Carl for awhile.

Almost a year later when we did move back to the States, I spent some time trying to get back in touch with him.  The reconnect began with a letter from him telling me that he was gay, that he'd always been gay, and that now he was relieved to finally be able to tell me after all of these years because he so wanted our friendship to continue as it had before.

I was flabbergasted cattywhompus.  In hindsight you can scrounge up all the reasons why you know now that you should have known then, but I had missed it.  Non-discerning love is blind, even with friendship love.  And now the bigger issue before me was my response to Carl.  I'd shared everything with this guy, this best friend.  It seemed as though the guy I had known had died.

What was the big deal?  I'm a Christian, and I thought that Carl was one too.  Even though I was a young, immature and imperfect believer, I did not understand how Carl could say he was a believer when at the very least I knew what God's Word stated, in plain English translated from plain Hebrew and plain Greek--homosexuality is a sin.

It was a painful phone call.  Carl was thrilled that I called, interpreting the call as a renewal of our friendship.  He was bubbling over with the details of his latest boyfriend, until I told him that I could not share his delight.  He was offended.  He wanted to know why I wasn't willing to listen to his romantic adventures.  I told him that I didn't agree with his lifestyle, and that I could not with any authenticity squeal or giggle over that cute thing "he" did. 

I asked him if he wanted to hear about what I was learning in my ladies' Bible study.  He said no, he didn't believe that the Bible was true, only a great collection of literature in the form of stories, fables and poetry.  I asked him if he was attending a church.  He said no, church is a crutch for weak people.

So I asked Carl just what sort of friendship did he expect that we could have when the topic nearest to his heart was immoral and the topic dearest to my heart was offensive to him.  He said that he just expected that we could talk about our lives with one another, as we had always done, and share our thoughts, hopes and dreams. 

I think I shouted, "But my life is my Christianity.  My thoughts, hopes and dreams are about what God is teaching me in His Word, what He wants for my life, what He has done for me in atonement.  These are the things that drive my life now. I belong to Christ."

He wanted, even expected me to set the eternal aside to delve into the temporal. I could not do it. I would not consider it. That phone call marked the end of what I thought would be a lifelong friendship. I do not regret my decision, although I am to this day grieved for his unrepentant heart, choices and lifestyle. I do still desire and pray that God will enlighten his heart and grant him a saving faith. But his insistence to remain in sin, antagonistic towards Christianity, forfeits any fellowship between us. I pray God will bring the reconciliation of salvation.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Cor 6:14-15