Monday, March 12, 2007

The trouble with cats...

is becoming increasingly evident around here at the household.  I have two indoor cats, one of each former gender but now neutered, that are both a delight and bane in some weird reverse proportional differential equation way that I certainly have no time to mathematically figure out because I'm too busy blogging other trivialities.

The other night finally prompted a list to be created detailing the trouble with cats.

When using the provided litter facilities, things don't always quite get cleared into said "box" meaning that later someone, hypothetically of course, might just come across what some people might refer to as "turdy pebbles" that have been incoveniently dropped in someone else's living area, bedroom, or even on top of their hutch.

Or when using the provided litter facilities, things might not always quite get cleared into said "box" but rather than neatly dropping off as previously referenced, instead become entangled in one's feline fluffy and long-haired backside necessitating a hair-raising event of scissors, gloves, TP and yowling--on behalf of all involved, of course.  Whilst the feline believes himself to be perfectly righteous through the whole event, the stank evidence proves otherwise.

If lots of kicking and scratching are occurring, definitely because the self-righteous feline is trying to cover up something called its "work".

The feline believing himself to be the center of attention, around which the known world revolves, will purr and knead excessively for attention, but upon receiving it will just as quickly bite the hand that has reached to provide for him.  Or the feline will cry out for water from the faucet but then merely stand there looking at it run down the drain, not deigning to drink a drop.

The feline will nag the owner unto death for food and feeding, declaring herself quite loudly to be hungry for true nourishment, but then yaks up the food which she could not with digestive maturity properly handle.

The feline that jumps onto kitchen counters attempting to seek higher ground, but really he is just prowling for trouble.

The feline that chokes on his own hair, ingested while fastidiously working on his outward appearance, thus leaving the mess for you to clean up. 

And my friend who owns an indoor/outdoor cat offered this example: the feline brings his works of death to her door, believing himself to have helped the community but in all actuality just leaving a bloody mess.

So why with all of this do I still have cats?  In spite of all their feline sins, I am quite assured that God created them for His own glory.  Cats prove to be an excellent metaphor for why mercy is necessary.


  1. You know, it's days like these when I really, really love my dog. :)

  2. What does it mean that I'm not a cat person?

  3. That is so funny! I'm really thankful for my neurotic dog right now.

  4. It is my first time here, and I have a cat, so I can relate to all of this.......

  5. What about the feline that apparently lives forever? We have a calico that has outlived her nine lives and then some...